Tuesday, May 22, 2007

In which I screamed like a little girl

... or at least wanted to rilly rilly bad.

Confession: We have a cockroach problem. It's not a big problem, numbers-wise. I've seen maybe 5 since we moved in last October. It IS a big problem, squicking-out-wise, because these suckers are so big they should be able to drive Jet's trucks around. And maybe they do in the middle of the night. ewwww, *squick, squick, shudder*

I've mostly seen them in Jet's bathroom, which happens to be where I get my beautiful self ready every morning.

We bought those little bait stations and Knight put them down about a month ago, even though we hadn't seen them in awhile. I'm dubious that they work, however, because the openings to those things are so small and our roaches are so frickin' huge. They're honestly 1 1/2 to 2 inches long. ewwww, *squick, squick, shudder*

This morning, I saw another one. I've taken to gingerly reaching in to switch the light on with one finger before stepping foot in the bathroom. That way I can inspect the place without possibly coming into contact with one of the enemy. (I actually did that once, but it's not appropriate to be shared here. This is, after all, a family blog, and many dirty words were uttered that fateful morning.) I followed my normal reconnaissance method this morning, and I saw some movement out of the corner of my bleary, still-sleepy eye. That eye quickly snapped to attention, ever ready to mount an investigation. Sure enough, there he was. ewwww, *squick, squick, shudder, do the don't-touch-me-dance*

I backed away slowly, though not gracefully. I have a live-and-let-someone-else-kill-it stance when it comes to cockroaches. I can't stand to squish them because they *shudder* crunch. I think of it as, "Hey, Roach - you can have this space, for now, and I'll just go in the other room and make my coffee and post about this while you find your way back home. Then I'll come in here and get ready, but later? Yeah, you can bet your crunchy butt I'm gonna sic my Knight in Shining Armor on you. Then you'll regret ever messing with me!!!"


Ry said...

*squick, squick, shudder*

I laughed everytime I read that phrase.

Poorrrrrrr thing. ACK!

ann said...

i have the solution - see, the secret is to not let them continue to walk around *shudder* you MUST contain them. otherwise they will jsut go somewhere and have babies, or even just hide and come after you again when you are not looking. (this applies to ANY bug, by the way) here is what you do - take an empty plastic container - cottage cheese, yogurt (family sized), butter tub - anything like that (that you won't EVER need to touch again!!) and put it upside down on top of the bug *shudder* *shudder* then, place something on top of the plastic container. the size of this item MUST be proportional to the size of the bug. example - rolly polly = carpenter's tape measure (approx 1-2#) centipede = medium sized book (approx 5-7#) cockro*** (i couldn't bring myself to write it out) now that calls for a medical terminology or upper-level science course book - we are talking a good 12-15#. you REALLY don't want them to just move that little plastic thing aside! THEN when knight gets home - the prey is waiting!!

Damsel said...

LOL, ann!!! That's a fantastic idea... the problem is that by the time I get back to the bathroom, they scatter like... well... cockroaches when you turn on the lights... and I can't find them anymore. And it's usually on the wall or something.

Ugh. I get squicked out just thinking about it.

Knight promised last night that he would seal around the cabinet/counter. If we still find them, he promised to rip the whole thing out and get 'em that way. :P

Anonymous said...